Studying Sadness

This photo was taken last year while I was knee deep in notepads and textbooks, frantically studying for my end of semester exams. While I sit here now, only three days out from my first exam, I can't help but feel the same all over again. I'm not going to lie, I am seriously stressed out!!! I am a walking sack of sadness and definitely not any sort of pleasure to be around. I haven't actually cried yet, although I've come pretty close.

I think my mind starts to play tricks on me during an exam period. I can become so indecisive, and thinking too much actually makes my brain hurt. I keep looking to other people to make my decisions for me. I don't know whether to finish the chapter, or go take a shower. To write another set of notes, or to take a break to eat. Even the question of what to have for dinner (something I usually love planning) was too much to handle the other night.

I've 'ummed' and 'arred' over the possibility of leaving this study desk a couple of times this (long) weekend. Just to relax for a while and enjoy the company of friends. I even started to put my jeans on once. But every time I think about going out, I am instantly plagued with a guilt that sees me running back to this very chair.

I'm just glad that the idea of a holiday, with an empty schedule and complete freedom, is such a strong motivator! I'm longing for a few spare hours to catch up on all those daily blog reads I am subscribed to, because I feel a little neglecting right now. 

Also, my apologies for not sharing my usual cheery 'Sunday Sounds' track this week. I didn't have time to format something in advance. Maybe next week!