Sunday, June 12, 2011

Studying Sadness


This photo was taken last year while I was knee deep in notepads and textbooks, frantically studying for my end of semester exams. While I sit here now, only three days out from my first exam, I can't help but feel the same all over again. I'm not going to lie, I am seriously stressed out!!! I am a walking sack of sadness and definitely not any sort of pleasure to be around. I haven't actually cried yet, although I've come pretty close.

I think my mind starts to play tricks on me during an exam period. I can become so indecisive, and thinking too much actually makes my brain hurt. I keep looking to other people to make my decisions for me. I don't know whether to finish the chapter, or go take a shower. To write another set of notes, or to take a break to eat. Even the question of what to have for dinner (something I usually love planning) was too much to handle the other night.

I've 'ummed' and 'arred' over the possibility of leaving this study desk a couple of times this (long) weekend. Just to relax for a while and enjoy the company of friends. I even started to put my jeans on once. But every time I think about going out, I am instantly plagued with a guilt that sees me running back to this very chair.

I'm just glad that the idea of a holiday, with an empty schedule and complete freedom, is such a strong motivator! I'm longing for a few spare hours to catch up on all those daily blog reads I am subscribed to, because I feel a little neglecting right now. 

Also, my apologies for not sharing my usual cheery 'Sunday Sounds' track this week. I didn't have time to format something in advance. Maybe next week!

6 comments:

  1. First of all, most hilarious picture ever! Sure did cheer me up :) I would always get the same way and discovered that if I have a schedule I feel way more productive and less guilty about not studying. Three hours studying, one hour of break... or something like that! Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great!

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  2. AWWWHH! Cheer up love! It's not nice to feel like this and don't stress love! You will be amazing and you will score the absolute best in EVERYTHING. You are THAT good. :)

    (I assume you drink tea) Drink tea! It always relaxes me when I stress and I always take 10 deep breaths and go outside for 5 minutes. It will do wonders (I hope).

    I hope you are getting my love and support vibes love! You will be fine.

    xx

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  3. Awww... So sorry!!
    Cheer up girl!!
    I'm sure everything will turn out just fine!
    I'll be praying for you!!
    (That picture is hilarious!)

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  4. Oh, finals just flat out suck. I know how you feel, girl - It's like Lord Voldermort is sucking the life right out of you (ha, sorry for the HP reference)...I feel your pain with my summer classes though, boy it's so hard. My whole weekend is JUST for homework. I have 9 credits right now that are crammed into 28 days! At least you have the love of Joel :)

    Your almost free!!:) GOOD LUCK

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  5. great photo!! and good luck with the studying - it will all pay off in the end!! x

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